Neon Genesis Evangelion: Manifest Destiny
by Nanpakun
Summary: Gendo Ikari instigates the Third Impact, but Shinji Ikari's yearning for identity and the capacity for love within his heart is stronger than any anti AT field that threatens mankind. Together, Shinji and Asuka begin to learn what it is to be human.
1. Preface & Message from the Author

-1**Preface**

Like many others, my entrance into the world of anime was mainstream, albeit circuitous. As I was born into the middle class, I enjoyed a high school experience at a private boarding school whose student body was largely international and predominately Asian. My high school, as small and closed-gate as it was, was enormously multicultural; the result was the constant importing and exporting of traditions and industries, a nigh-daily rhythm of international collaboration. The wealthy Dominicans brought the Afro-Brazilian martial art _capoeira_ to a self-defense program entirely defined by American Karate. The Koreans showed us that explosions could in fact exist in deep space with _Starcraft_. The Japanese smuggled in anime.

My Caucasian friends and I were bedazzled by an art form so contradictory to the cartoons we'd grown up with. When Americans were tuning in to the tame adventures of the _Thundercats _in 1986 (ironically and perhaps prophetically animated by _Topcraft, _later to become _Studio Ghibli_) the Japanese were unabashedly pumping out blood, gore, violence, sexually suggestive scenes, and adult themes only two years later in _Akira_. Us Westerners had been conditioned to the limited cartoon programming on Toonami. Back in 1997, it was either Cartoon Network or Daffy Duck. Your choices were limited. Akira took animation to a level that boggled our sophomoric minds. Previously, it was typical of animation (Western especially) producers to cut as many corners as possible, moving only the mouths of characters while their faces remained static. Not so with Akira. There we sat in the student lounge, our faces bathed in the neon fluorescent glow of a television that had us transfixed like we'd been hit by the paralyzing beam of an alien space ship, watching as meticulously detailed scenes, rigorously lip-synched dialogue, and dark, explosive theatrics amalgamated into one of the most amazing masterpieces we'd ever seen. We weren't in Kansas anymore.

We were in _Nippon_. The Japanese had delivered their message as swiftly and accurately as a _shinai_ blow to a _bogu _helmet. Animation was hardly something you'd let your kids watch on Sunday morning anymore. Properly harnessed, it could be a frightening and awe-inspiring force. It could tell stories with as much potency and visual efficacy as any live action movie. Even so, I still wasn't convinced. As I began to do research into this strange and unparalleled art form, I began to find that its origins were perhaps nothing more than imitations of the_ Disneydom_ and the Age of Mickey Mouse that we in America all found ourselves living in. _Osamu Tezuka's Astro Boy _reeked of _Betty Boop _(although the "inspiration" was later returned in kind when Disney released _The Lion King_), and _Sparky_ from _Mach Go Go Go _(later successfully franchised in the U.S. as _Speed Racer_) always reminded me of _Archie_. Soon, however, a close friend of mine from Hokkaido would urge me to take the plunge into a secretly burgeoning universe of anime. And I would.

In 1997, the same year a stamp collection was being issued in the memory of Tezuka, the grandfather of anime, Thundercats became the first series to appear on Cartoon Network's new action-animation block, _Toonami_. Catching up with the past, I became a connoisseur of cartoons. I gorged on He-Man, Jonny Quest, Gargoyles and Scooby Doo. For a while I was even captivated by Nickelodeon's typical programming routine: _Rugrats_, _Doug_, and _Invader Zim_. One cold winter's day, in the student's lounge, bored out of our minds watching the snow fall, my Japanese friend turned to me with a playful smile on her lips.

"Have you ever heard of Hideaki Anno?" I shook my head, no. "Who was he? Like some shogun warlord or something?" We'd been discussing the turbulent history of Japan and the role of the various _daimyos _of the Tokugawa Period. "No," she laughed, putting her fingers daintily to her mouth as I've found many proper oriental women do without realizing it is in fact tantalizingly attractive. "He's an animator and director!" "Anime?" I grimaced suspiciously. She nodded, twin tails bobbing excitedly. "I know you're skeptical about this stuff, but you've really got to give this a watch." From her messenger bag she produced what was obviously a bootlegged copy of an animation film. She handed it to me. "_Shin Seiki Evangelion_" I translated the Japanese awkwardly. "_Nihonjin Animeshon_. I don't know about this, Karen. It all seems so… so…contrived." My Japanese friend pointed towards the VCR and wiggled her finger. "You liked Akira. Just put it in." I frowned. "That was different." "Different how?" I fumbled for words. "Well you know, there's masterpieces in all art forms. People who really don't think paintings are all that interesting to look at might be awestruck by a Rembrandt or a Moreau." Karen was adamant. "Look, we've got the whole day to kill. Why not watch some movies? It's not like we can go outside." I whined and squirmed. "Put it in," she said. "Trust me. It's a masterpiece. It's a Moreau." So I trusted her, reluctantly popping the video cassette into the machine. And ever since, I've been hooked.

Hideaki Anno's _Neo Genesis Evangelion _(ADV's title) was a benchmark that the anime industry would repeatedly cast their eyes back to for a decade after its conception. It was a series that dared to be daring, it's production staff and director adhering to ironclad beliefs in making more than a film, but a statement. The belief in conveying a powerful message through an art form often seen as a preoccupation for children was something I found to be endlessly inspiring. And the show itself was, at is core, about belief. Resonating biblical tones drawing from Judeo-Christian symbols from _Genesis_ and various apocrypha, Anno first built a religious skeleton upon which he placed the flesh and blood of mankind's limitless insatiability and aggrandizing, our fear of being alone, and our desire to break free from the shackles of uncertainty and find meaning in existence. Coinciding with a dark and tumultuous time in my own life where I had virtually nothing and no one to believe in, Neo Genesis Evangelion was in many respects my therapist as I struggled alongside its protagonist, Shinji Ikari, to find the power to believe in myself. Belief is a beautiful armor and makes for the heaviest sword; but it seems like punching underwater you never can hit who your trying for.

**Message from the Author**

The fan fiction community has grown considerably since when it first opened its doors to me. A name that was coined almost exclusively in regards to anime literature written by fans now extends to innumerable parodies, satires, and continuations of beloved series, films, and even novels in thousands of different genres and subject matters. Although fan fiction based on the Neo Genesis Evangelion world is hardly sparse these days, I've encountered daring and revolutionary epic pieces, such as one that I found back in 1999, a piece by an anonymous author based off the Irish legend, the Tain Bo Cuailnge.

_Manifest Destiny _is an homage to those pursuits of something new and also an eternal thanks to Anno's story who rescued me from suicide and great despair. I am fully aware that a vast majority of fan fiction these days employs the device of pairings, often disregarding entirely logic, reason and accountability in favor of drawing two beloved characters inexplicably into an angst-filled and Dawson's Creek-esque relationship. I'll have none of that in this piece. Any romance contained herein exists because I personally felt there was enough evidence to entertain the possibility that two Evangelion characters actually had a shot at a relationship, even if it is as tame as holding hands. As these characters are not mine, I will do my very best to write them as I believe Hideaki Anno would have depicted them himself.

_Evangelion: Manifest Destiny_, for the sake of canon continuality, occurs directly after the last episodes of the televised series (but does not include the final two episodes, 25 and 26). Although it may draw from (for the sake of substantiating the direction of this fanfic from actual canon) events within _Rebirth_ or _End of Evangelion_, it does not run concurrently with either of those storylines. Because nearly everything in NGE is (intentionally) left up to the interpretation of the viewer, please read this story without prejudice or the notion that I have deliberately deviated from the original storyline. Thank you.

Special thanks:

**Liam Young **and his extensive and comprehensive guide to Neo Genesis Evangelion.

Angelic and all members at **Project: Evangelion**.

The vast amount of information and cross referencing due to **Wikipedia**.

My **friends and family **for encouraging me to write and to write **_always_**.

**Hideaki Anno **for daring to gaze into the human soul and encouraging others to do so.


	2. Faith as a Weapon

-1**EVANGELION - MANIFEST DESTINY**

**PART I - Faith As A Weapon**

_In our lives, we will inevitably encounter a great multitude of doors. Some of them will be shut. Other will be left agape, even opened wide as their hinges will let. But those with locks should remain shut tight, for faith comes in the acceptance that some things should be best left alone._

_From the journal of Professor Kozuo Fuyutsuki_

---

**TOKYO 3**

The cacophony of machines and sirens was deafening as NERV personnel from every branch scrambled to evacuate the subterranean headquarters that was known as the Geofront. Great swells crashed against the coastline and onto coastal roads, sweeping military vehicles and infantry into the frothing ocean. Plumes of smoke rose from trucks and overturned automobiles scattered throughout the ruins of Tokyo-3 where the noxious smell of oil and gasoline battled the ever-growing miasma of flooding sewers and carnage for dominance. In every direction was a visceral scene of despair and desolation marking humanity's darkest hour: _The Third Impact_.

The ominous green glow of a scorched sky cast eerie shadows upon Unit 01 whose pilot was barely holding onto his sanity. Thrust immediately back into combat after his confrontation with the seventeenth angel and newfound friend, Kaoru, the traumatized young boy's mind began to unravel. An ocean of anger dried up and became a desert of loneliness only mere moments later replaced by a jungle of paranoia. But the pilot of Unit 01, Shinji Ikari, was the one thing that stood between the fate of mankind and Armageddon for all life on earth. _The Third World War_, Professor Fuyutsuki had once said, _will be fought not by men, but by angels_. To the men, women, and children looking on in abject fear and horror, the individuality and uniqueness of each and every soul hanging in the balance, Shinji Ikari was no longer a soldier, but a savior. He was a symbol of humankind's will to overcome impossible odds. Yet in the eyes of the struggling child in the dim cockpit of Unit 01, he had been utterly used by everyone in his life whom he loved, and he saw little reason to go on.

"Unit 01 is in position," NERV's resident cryptographer Makoto Hyuga whispered quietly as if a single word uttered aloud would cause the entirety of Central Dogma to come crashing down around them. He looked nervously to the purple-haired director of operations, Major Katsuragi, who stood resolutely, arms folded across her buxom chest, staring at the computer monitors as a deluge of information flooded by.

Misato nodded, eyes narrowing. "Then it's begun," she said. "The beginning of the end."

_**Six hours earlier…**_

**SELEE INTERROGATION ROOM**

"Sound Only" was the cryptic message that glowed upon each of the nondescript panels hovering menacingly in SELEE's interrogation amphitheatre. In the center of the ring, seated calmly at a fiercely illuminated desk, was Professor Fuyutsuki. One of the senior members of NERV's command roster and an original member of the EVA research and development division, it was often said that Kozuo Fuyutsuki's aging demeanor was belied by a sharp wit and remarkably keen sense of intuition. Certainly he knew why he had been kidnapped and brought before the committee today. No doubt the shiny black dossier on the desk before him, labeled simply **NERV **in brick red capitals, would confirm his theories.

"Do you know why you have been brought here?" rasped SELEE 01.

Fuyutsuki smirked. "SELEE must truly be desperate when it has to badger an old man for information it already has."

"You worked closely with Ikari," SELEE 03 pointed out.

"You cannot deny the intemperance and renegade neglect with which Ikari has carried out his operations," said SELEE 04 sternly. "He is out of control."

"He has become a liability," chimed in SELEE 08. "The bipartisan cooperation between SELEE and Gehirn's offspring has been severed."

"That cannot be tolerated, Fuyutsuki," the first of the panels concluded. "You have been our faithful cat's-paw until this moment, but it seems that it is inevitable that scientists and professors alike become blinded by their selfish idealism. Naturally, it is human nature. People cannot perfectly understand each other; we are incomplete beings. The self is an ambiguous vessel; by clinging to the physical, the ark that is Eva, we are giving up that which makes us human."

A bead of sweat trickled down the professor's lined forehead as his mind reeled with the possibilities of SELEE's agenda. It was happening again. Exactly as it had fifteen years ago. "Far removed have you become from your original design," Kozuo stated grimly. "Mankind instigates the Second Impact to preserve its own existence… now it believes a Third Impact is its true destiny? The meaning of humanity is its wish to survive…"

"This is only a rite of passage for humanity at an impasse of rebirth," retorted SELEE 12. "As was foretold in the Dead Sea Scrolls, a destined destruction will herald the divine pleasure of resurrection. In order for God, humanity, and all life forms to unite as one, we must use Unit 01 to initiate the Instrumentality Project."

"Finally it becomes clear," said the professor. "With the Lance of Longinus out of your grasp, you turn in desperation to mankind's imperfect duplicate."

"You will dismantle the MAGI, Fuyutsuki, so that we can infiltrate NERV before Ikari is able to use Adam to suit his own ends."

The professor looked cross. "And if I refuse?"

"Then the blood of NERV will be on your hands."

Kozuo's brow twitched. He'd never truly thought it would come down to this. The committee was directly asking him to operate as a double-agent. Had SELEE and NERV truly become this divided? When the skies were torn asunder by angels and demons, who could be trusted? He was being asked to betray his friend and comrade, Gendo, and all of those whom had trusted him with their lives, Ritsuko, Misato, and the EVA pilots. But if he didn't…

SELEE 02 glowed fiercely. "With the MAGI out of the way, we will be able to hack into NERV's most vital systems and assert control. Ikari believes he is a God, that the fate of humankind is his to decide."

"How are you so certain that Ikari's motivations are so insidious?" Kozuo challenged his unseen inquisitors with false bravado as he stalled for time to think. Even so, he knew in his heart of hearts Gendo had his own plans for EVA… for Lilith. The man had never been entirely forthright, even with his closest compatriots. Oftentimes, Kozuo wondered if Ikari had even been taciturn during his relationship with Yui.

"Ikari's rogue use of the Longinus Lance and his unauthorized employment of the S2 engine in Unit 01 have forced us to adjust our timetables accordingly," SELEE 06 said. "The fated hour is nigh."

"Serve us one last time," charged SELEE 01, "and the pain and suffering of today will replaced with the bliss of eternal tomorrow."

One by one, the domino-like panels that represented each of SELEE's committee members vanished, each disappearance accompanied by a loud metallic clicking sound.

Kozuo rose from his seat and shoved the NERV dossier from the table angrily. He placed his palms face down upon the cold surface of the desk. "Is to have faith in the end of things the key to a new beginning's door? Or is faith the weapon of selfish men seeking their own ends?"

**ALONG THE MOUNTAIN ROAD TO THE GEOFRONT**

Misato's car squealed around the curves of the road leading to the epicenter of NERV's activities. Searing rubber left smoking tire tracks as NERV's director of combat operations and tactics guided her vehicle at top speeds around perilous circuits, her eyes gazing intently at the giant pyramid of power in the forested canyon below them. In the seat beside her, Shinji sat quaking, head in hands.

"Unit 02 will already be waiting for you when you arrive," Misato grunted. "Just one more time, Shinji. That's all we're asking. All of the other angels have been destroyed."

"Then why do you need me? Why do you want to put me in that horrible thing again!"

Misato risked a glance at the pilot of Unit 02. She wondered if he was truly psychologically able to wield the EVA as a weapon consciously against other human beings. Doing battle with extraterrestrial life forms was a different matter entirely. But she'd seen more than once the emotional strain inflicting pain upon other people caused him. First, there had been Touji Suzuhara, whom he'd unwillingly crushed while the fifth child had still been entombed in the cockpit. And then there was Kaoru. An oddity really, for while technically an angel, Misato had thought that Kaoru had seemed somewhat more human than the other children whose fates were intertwined with the war machines, the EVAs. And a delicate bond had begun to form between he and Shinji… one that made her strangely angry and somewhat jealous.

"SELEE isn't going to be satisfied with the loss of the Longinus Lance. With all the angels destroyed by NERV, it will no doubt try to take Lilith back. The EVA is the only protection we have against them."

Shinji continued to sulk in silence. It was a lot to ask, Misato knew, that children less than two decades old and still in high school wage war against an enemy whose designs and schema were far beyond their understanding. But she'd been there the first time man's arrogance and pomp had led to its undoing. _The Second Impact_. Misato identified with the children piloting the EVAs who felt orphaned by those they loved and by the world. If she'd been able to stay strong, survive hell on earth, so could they. So could Shinji Ikari. She just wished that the child she had taken into her home would lower the AT field around his heart and let her into the cold and forlorn world of his soul. She wished…

"I don't care about any of this," Shinji said suddenly. "I don't care about anything or anyone."

Misato had heard those words many times before. She arced the car suddenly around a sharp bend. "That's not true, Shinji," she hissed. "And it disgusts me to see how much like your father you sound…"

Shinji's eyes widened. An image of the cold, aloof and domineering Gendo Ikari flashed unbidden through his mind. "My father?…"

"Yes. Just like you, your father is afraid of being loved. It was guilt and regret over loosing your mother that led him to obsess over EVA and the Instrumentality Project." As if to herself, she added, "Kaji was right… all of those whose lives are touched by the angels live sad and tormented existences." Her eyes welling up with tears, she gripped the steering wheel tightly. "Just like you, Shinji, your father was running away from the pain of a world he believed would only hurt him. The invisible and formless thing that exists between people… he was afraid of it, so he closed his mind."

_I mustn't run away…_

Shinji looked down at his knees. "I'm… I'm not like him… I'm not… I…"

Suddenly, the car phone rang. Major Katsuragi snatched the phone off the receiver and pressed it to her ear.

"Misato here," she barked irritably. "What's--… I see… We're only five minutes away."

She hung up the phone and looked at Shinji. "You might like to know that Asuka has regained consciousness. She's in the medical ward, level 3, if you feel like paying her a visit."

Although Misato's suggestion was elective, the tone of her voice assured Shinji that visiting the pilot of Unit 02 was mandatory. Shinji's right hand twitched slightly as he recalled the last time he and Asuka had spoken--a harsh and bitter exchange of words that had incited an execrable desire in his spirit to strangle the fiery-haired German girl. Now, however, all he felt was numbness.

**CENTRAL DOGMA**

The familiar drone of the MAGI and the thousands of wires, computer systems, and nameless machines connected with it was the only sound beneath the operational decks of Terminal Dogma, save for Professor Fuyutski's footsteps. As the man walked through the Spartan corridor that abutted the powerhouse where the MAGI's motherboards and liquid nitrogen cooling units were kept, he replayed the history of his involvement with Gehirn, and with NERV.

Life, Kozuo believed, is composed of a series of coincidences. How we react to these--how we exercise what some refer to as "free will"--is everything; the choices we make within the boundaries of the twists and turns of fate define the very fabric of who we are. Had then the professor made the right choices when presented with these coincidences? He traced his involvement as far back as his days as a professor at the Kyoto Institute, his student, Yui Ikari, who had introduced him to Gendo. The first of many coincidences. Although the work and intellectual endeavors of each had more or less severed their correspondence for several years, after the Second Impact their paths had crossed again. Destiny. It had been the perfect opportunity for Gendo to sow the seeds of collaborative evil right underneath his old friend's feet. At the time, Kozuo had become the typical middle-aged malcontent, suffering from a midlife crisis, lack of academic direction, and emotional wanderlust. Project E, as it had been once esoterically referred to by its original membership who during the glory days had felt like the elite chosen of a skull and dagger society, had offered a new road for a life in which Fuyutsuki found only dead ends. He, like Gendo, had been entranced by the untapped power of embryonic Adam, by the angels, and by the idea of harnessing the very essence of the Gods. But did the ends really justify the means? The professor had witnessed with eyes unclouded the way NERV used and manipulated everyone in its employ; only those in the uppermost canopy of the political know had even an inkling as to the true nature of the syndicate. And those who came close to the truth were usually reassigned, or worse, involuntarily retired. Yet he had chosen to avert his gaze, turn a blind eye away from the corruption. The opportunities for him to stop the madness had been innumerable. But now the corruption had run too deep, to the very roots of the source, and the professor himself had become infected. It was his time to act or abandon all hope forever. With an end in sight, Professor Kozuo Fuyutsuki rationalized that, even if SELEE was able to reclaim NERV, it would put an end to the double-dealing and anguish suffered and endured by all those juxtaposed helplessly between the two behemoth organizations. He passed through the doorway into the lower atrium of Central Dogma.

The MAGI supercomputers, Caspar, Balthazar, and Melchior loomed over Kozuo like steel giants. The professor gave a laugh as he reflected on the irony that these three computers, named after the legendary three wise men of Christian theology, were the nucleus of so much destruction and deceit. Within the endless patterns of binary code the computers spewed forth every second was encrypted an untold history of betrayed love, heavenly conquest and political subterfuge. And he'd been asked to dismantle them, sever the wings of the guardian angels, protectors of NERV's very existence. If some divine series of coincidences had led him to this day, then had the choice he had made when he'd agreed to enact SELEE's agenda made him a Judas or a Christ? Was he directly orchestrating the doom of mankind or had he spared the lives of his allies whom, as the committee had so bluntly pointed out, would no doubt be annihilated by SELEE's tactical infantry divisions if he rebelled?

Fuyutsuki regarded the small black envelope in his hands. Within it was a microchip, no larger than the size of a fingernail, that would effective incapacitate the powerful mainframes that kept the terminals of Central Dogma buzzing with immeasurable wisdom, and also the instructions detailing its installation. As the professor knelt down beside the metallic hatchway in Balthazar's mainframe, a wave a nausea swept over him. He felt despicable. He felt like a traitor.

The clicking of a pistol's safety mechanism being depressed echoed loudly somewhere to Kozuo's posterior. The envelope fell to the floor. Relief flooded the professor, who stood, and slowly turned.

Gendo Ikari was a man marked by unforgettably salient features; a handsomely angular face was garnished by a meticulously trimmed beard. Two dark and fiercely cognizant eyes glowed with mysterious purport, framed by a pair of tinted spectacles which seemed naturally complimentary to the linear architecture of the man's face. His skin was pale, seemingly more pallid than usual, as if he'd been too long out in wintry weather. The sickly glow of his skin contrasted with neatly trimmed raven hair. Altogether, there was something unaccountably abstruse about his countenance, if not enigmatically absurd, a trait that had always set Fuyutsuki ill at ease, even during their most cordial. Now he stood squarely, a pistol raised at the ready and aimed at Kozuo.

"So it's come to this, has it, Fuyutsuki?" Gendo said grimly, his face lacking any visible expression or emotion.

The professor leaned back against Balthazar and ran a weathered hand through his silver hair. He smiled. "It's been a long time coming, Ikari. It had to end sometime."

"End with you as SELEE's lapdog?" Although the man's face remained stolid, disgust and disapproval dripped from his words like snake venom. "I expected more from a man of your constitution."

Fuyutsuki shrugged. "Had you been more forthright with me… with all of us… we could have avoided a great deal of this disaster."

"You still don't have a clue, do you, Fuyutsuki? Perhaps I had misjudged you all the while."

"Care to enlighten a blind old man?" the professor retorted brusquely.

Suddenly, the familiar shadow of Rei emerged beside Gendo. She was naked, and her pale flesh seemed to soak up the neon shadows cast by the supercomputers. "Oh… I understand now. Your puppet has finally been restrung."

Sometimes Kozuo had often wondered how a man as intelligent and calculating as Gendo Ikari could be so blind and foolish regarding women. It defied logic. Rei, the First Child, pilot of Evangelion Unit 00, was the selfish creation of a scientist whose hopeless obsession with a memory and inability to cope with the reality of his own mistakes had driven him to the brink of hell. A small part of Fuyutsuki pitied Gendo, a broken man who had had ample share of love and loss. Ikari was haunted by the ghosts of a past he had created with his own hands. _Ghosts_. They were everywhere these days. A natural part of the world. The prickling along the back of one's neck, the waking from a dream that had seemed so desperately real. Sometimes, even Fuyutsuki had thought he'd heard the soft, pleading voice of Yui Ikari, beseeching him as Gendo's closest friend to convince him to relinquish the memory of their love. Rei, the irony of her namesake a harbinger of this self-evident truth, was Gendo's ghost, a spirit of flesh and blood that followed the man like a doppelganger. But so what if Gendo's personal love life had been cursed? The whole damn world was cursed, tainted by a desire for an impossible coexistence between individuality and "oneness" of being. The existence of eight billion souls was at stake because of one man's desire to be reunited with his deceased spouse.

"You'll fail," the professor mused, somewhat to himself. There was something slightly senile in his smile. "Instigating the Third Impact wont bring you closer to Yui. No matter how many Reis you build, no matter how many puppets you manufacture, it wont be the same as it was." He looked sadly at Gendo, his eyes moist with pity. "Living in a memory is the death of the soul, Ikari-kun. If you initiate the Third Impact, you will loose your sense of self, and with it, all your memories will fade away. Yui will be lost forever. Cherish her in dreams, do not try to numb the pain by sacrificing the human race on the altar of divine ascension."

"Is that all?" Gendo glared.

Kozuo looked at Rei. Her figure, on the verge of womanhood, still clung to adolescence like a winter's frost in the pale dawn of spring. Suddenly, all of the professor's doubts dissipated. The blue-haired girl's feminine charms, still hardly more than the moronic ambiguity of childhood, reminded Kozuo that Rei's latest incarnation was someone completely different than Yui altogether. Even had Gendo managed to spawn a more adult version of Rei, the experiences Yui and her husband had shared would never be Rei's. She would not have _lived_ Yui's experiences, only witnessed flashes of a life that wasn't her own, the result of a cruel and artificial genetic circus act.

"You're not his puppet," the professor beamed, joyous of his latent revelation. "You're not Yui Ikari. You are your own person Rei. Your body might be hewn from Yui's DNA, but you're still your own person. Remember that, always."

Gendo Ikari aimed the .38 caliber pistol at his friend's chest.

"_Sayonara_, Fuyutsuki."

A single shot echoed throughout Terminal Dogma.

_Rei _may be translated from Japanese to mean "ghost", "spirit", or "departed one".


	3. The Black Curtain Rises

**PART II - The Black Curtain Rises**

_A man once climbed to the top of the tallest peak to see as far as his eyes could see. Upon arriving, he looked out on what he believed to be the edge of the world. The thought of what lay beyond frightened him so that he climbed back down, never to return…_

_From the journal of Professor Kozuo Fuyutsuki_

---

**NERV MEDICAL WARD, DECK 3, EAST WING**

The room was blindingly white. The bars set in the small rectangular window cast the only shadows in the entire chamber. There was something vaguely inhuman about it all, artificial. Shinji Ikari's eyes stung as they tried to adjust to the throbbing florescence of the room. He hated the light, especially unnatural light, like that cast by halogen bulbs and neon signboards. It seemed to him to be an affront to the condition of humanity; in the light, the full spectrum of the world's color was visible while in the darkness everyone looked the same, a dim outline of oneself, a silhouette that could neither be judged nor victimized by the prejudices of individuality.

Completely encircling the metallic cot upon which the Second Child lay was a sprawl of medical machines, heart monitors and intravenous drips. The rhythmic beeping of the electronic systems all fixed and attached to the amber-haired girl annoyed Shinji greatly. Each _bleep_ represented the systematic beat of Asuka's heart, an automatic function of the body. The bleeps reminded Shinji that the human body, and subsequently the human heart, were also machines. With mechanical precision, blood lacking in oxygen was collected by the superior and inferior vena cava (two large pipe-like veins) and emptied into the right atrium. Pumped into the right ventricle, the blood then began its journey through the pulmonary semi-lunar valve, and finally into the wire-like pulmonary veins. The oxygenated blood then entered the left atrium and was emptied via valve into the left ventricle where it was at last directed to the aorta to be distributed throughout the body, much like the fashion in which electricity was carried from a power plant and dispersed throughout a city. The human heart. For thousands of years, the great poets and painters of the world had glorified the pulsating mass of muscle upon the canvass of human accomplishment. When a soldier struggled to raise the banner of his country whilst surrounded on all sides by his enemies, it was the courage within his heart that enabled him to do so. When two lovers were cruelly torn apart by the happenstance of time and the whim of Fate, faithful hearts would surely reunite them. But Shinji had pierced the glossy veneer that nearly deified the bloody organ. The heart was nothing more than a bloody machine. A bloody…

_Bleep…_

Shinji's hand twitched. _Blood_, he thought. _The purpose of the heart is to circulate blood_. _Machines don't have blood…_Was it then in fact _blood _that made a machine more than human?

Suddenly, the Third Child recalled his various experiences inside the tank of Link Connection Liquid that was the cockpit of the EVAs. He had always wondered why the scent of the colorless life-sustaining fluid reminded him perplexingly of blood. Were the EVAs more than mere machines? Were they human? If they were truly living, then that meant they were slaves.

Knuckles whitening around the cold metal frames of Asuka's bed, Shinji fought back the urge to cut the German girl open, exposing the truth within. An unfathomable desire had suddenly arisen in him, nearly overwhelmed him, a desire to see and touch the Second Child's blood as if within the very substance lay the answer to his question. He wanted to seize a scalpel from the surgeon's receptacle beside the tableau and slice deep into the girl's chest, smear the blood upon the floor and the walls and the machines, painting over all that was fake, anything and everything that represented the lies and unfaithfulness of the world. But then, a nigh-imperceptible movement of the Second Child's fingers caused his fury to metamorphose instantly into sheer terror; the girl shifted dreamily upon the gurney. She turned onto her side, the thin blanket that had been covering her body slipping off revealing her nubile figure to be completely nude save for a pair of utilitarian white panties. Her lips parted softly as she whispered…

"Shinji…"

Misato had informed Shinji on the way to the Geofront that Asuka had recovered from unconsciousness, and that although she was sleeping while her body regenerated from the extreme physical and mental fatigue she had suffered, she could awaken at any time. Although Shinji was admittedly clueless regarding the mind of the female persuasion, he knew it wasn't rocket science what Asuka would do to him if she roused from slumber only to find him gawking at her naked body.

Perhaps it was the horrifying disposition the boy found himself in that paralyzed him, rendering him unable to turn from the spot where he stood and run as he always did, as far away as his legs could carry him, however it might also have been the view his eyes were now enjoying. The Second Child's breasts were clearly visible to him, and in the blinding white light of the room he could make out almost every intimate detail of the girl's anatomy. She was, without question, beautiful. A pale smattering of freckles decorated her nose and her cheeks glowed a faint pink. Her silky hair tumbled down over her well-formed collar bone and delicately rounded shoulders like the currents of a terra-cotta river gently washing over polished alabaster. Two modestly-sized yet irrefutably curvaceous breasts formed two symmetrical peaks just above an athletically trim abdomen and a pair of ravishing hips. A girl teetering dangerously on the edge of womanhood, Asuka's body was even more sylphlike than his most intimate fantasies had envisioned her.

It was as petrifying as it was seductive. Shinji went weak in the knees as his hands, mere inches from Asuka's supple breasts, could just feel the intoxicating warmth that radiated from the glossy derma of the girl's skin. He could barely distinguish the hypnotic sound of her heart beating as it pumped hot blood throughout her body. The Third Child stood there for some time just watching the slow undulating of the Second Child's chest as her lungs expanded and contracted with oxygen.

_No,_ he decided. _Asuka is not a machine. Blood isn't like the oil of some robot's power core. She's real. She's a person. Just like me. She…_

_Just_

_ Like_

_ Me_

_ Just_

_Like_

_ Me_

_ Just_

_ Like_

_Me_

The three words spiraled like DNA to the very source of Shinji's mind. And it was not a place Shinji often dared to visit. The Third Child had created a world in which he was a passive onlooker of life, a spectator of the world. He had convinced himself that he was different than everyone else, that he could never be understood, and also the converse that others in turn would and could never understand him. It was that foundation upon which Shinji had built the temple of his consciousness, defining his personality; without it, his world would surely crumble. A possible connection or similarity between himself and Asuka was not something he was yet willing to accept, for the inexorable truth that such a connection would imply was too much for his mind to bear.

Hands fumbling ineptly, Shinji scrambled to cover the girl up once more with the quilt. This action resulted in the German bringing her left hand up to her mouth as she proceeded to suck on her thumb.

"Mama," she whimpered softly.

Shinji stared at Asuka stupidly. A loud alarm began to wail.

**TERMINAL DOGMA, 1 HOUR BEFORE THE THIRD IMPACT**

At about the same time that Professor Kozuo Fuyutsuki had divined his final revelation regarding the nature of Ikari's failure to understand the human soul, the upper decks of Terminal Dogma, usually buzzing with the activities of carefully selected brilliant minds from near and far, became shrouded in shadow. Few NERV personnel remained in the innermost bowels of the Geofront save those who were the most intimately connected with Project E and its history. The holographic projections that typically glowed with the data supplied by the MAGI detailing the conditions of the EVAs and their pilots, the three-dimensional topographic simulation of Tokyo 3, and also the state of each level of the facility itself, were all blank.

Maya Ibuki, NERV's boyishly pretty junior programmer and Dr. Ritsuko Akagi's personal protégé, sat upon a revolving stool, nursing a mug of lukewarm coffee in her delicate hands. "All entrances to our main facilities have been sealed off?" she wondered.

"And we're in "first alert" mode, it seems," added Makoto Hyuga grimly.

Maya looked nervous as she fiddled with her thumbs. "Why? Kaoru was the last of the Angels, wasn't he?"

Shigeru Aoba, an invaluable and multitalented member of NERV's data collection and analysis team, agreed. "Yes. All the Angels were supposedly destroyed," he said while reclining in a chair identical to Maya's, shaping his fingers around the neck of an imaginary guitar out of boredom. "But as long as the EVAs are still around, somehow I don't think it will be over."

"Will we ever finally be at peace?" Hyuga wondered absently, polishing his glasses on his jacket.

There was a silence between the three in which each seemed to contemplate their own fate, and the fate of NERV collectively.

"So what's going to become of this place and the EVAs?" said Maya at length. "And Ritsuko isn't around," she added rather dejectedly.

Shigeru Aoba, like almost every other man at NERV working deep enough in the Geofront to have witnessed the horrible power which it often appeared so wanton in exploiting, was frequently haunted by his own ghosts. A drifter in high school, a slave only to the music his band performed in his parents' basement, Aoba had never dreamed he would have lived to see the day that he would directly participate in the annihilation of divine beings. Angels. He's been instructed to collect data and provide reports to his superiors, namely Gendo Ikari, that were grossly inflated or falsified. He'd been commanded to prove--through the use of creatively arranged statistical evidence--that the effects the EVAs had on the minds of the children that piloted them were completely innocuous. Aoba had spent many sleepless nights convincing himself with questionable success that what he'd spent the last few years of his life doing, the endless sacrifices and shameless alterations of data, had been to for the greater good of mankind. As Shigeru drew his conclusions about the future, he spoke with an air of relief as though a great weight had been lifted from his shoulders.

"I think NERV will be disbanded. I have no idea what lies ahead for us. But I hope it will be better than this…"

All three of them turned their heads to the digital display upon which a blinking clock read:

_Instrumentality Project ETA: 00:59:16_

"The shutdown of the facility was a direct order from Misato," Hyuga stated. "We'll just have to put up with it until the Instrumentality Project begins."

Aoba stared at the blank computer monitors before him. "A black omen…"

Suddenly, the holographic display terminals all around Central Dogma whirred to life, the entire screen swarming with the hexagonal emergency signs that had come to symbolize imminent danger to humanity's existence to all those who worked in Hell's atrium, Central Dogma. Raucous buzzers sounded from the intercoms, and the NERV personnel that had been meandering listlessly about the main deck instantly scrambled to the computers.

There was a shout. "The sixth network is down!"

Makoto Hyuga stumbled over his chair as he reached for his control station. Aoba's face pruned into a look of horror. "Makoto! Switch to an emergency blue connection, quickly!"

"I can't!" the other screamed. "The internal tracers are scrambled!"

"Then open the satellite!"

"It's already been fire-walled with PAC-4 encryption! I could never--"

"What about the auxiliary satellite?"

Maya watched helplessly as the internal defense matrix that protected NERV's computer systems began to melt away like a puddle on a sweltering summer day. "All external network links have been disconnected from the other side!" she cried.

Aoba grit his teeth, staring grimly at the flashing icons before him. "All the incoming data is external… Could it be they are attempting to hack into the MAGI?"

As the warning sirens continued to howl, Gendo entered the room wordlessly and sat down, unnoticed by all, at his usual perch, watching the frenzy before him with the apathy of a cat gazing out upon the world through a pane of glass.

Hyuga stared hard at Aoba. "That would require an intimate knowledge of NERV's computer systems, direct satellite access codes, several hundred terabytes of rapid-decryption worms--the works! Such an invasion could only happen from the inside!"

"Precisely," nodded Aoba. "The Trojan horse has been sent to us directly from our financier. Maya! Call Misato!"

"Right!" the techie replied obediently.

"No need!" said the familiar voice of Major Katsuragi as she rode the elevating platform into the command station. "Aoba, fill me in!"

"Someone is using external circuits to hack into the MAGI. And they're doing it fast! We can't stop them Major!"

"SELEE," grunted Misato irritably. "They've started already. Hyuga, is MAGI-2 in Matsushiro the only hostility?"

"Negative, Major Katsuragi! At least five of the MAGI types are invading! As far as I can tell, the assault is coming in from Germany, China, and America, and who knows where else! Misato, we can't stop them!"

"They're using all they've got," rasped NERV's commanding officer. "We're outnumbered and have insufficient staff to handle an invasion of this kind."

The hexagons representing the computer matrix of NERV rapidly flooded with the red sea of external invasion.

"The fourth and fifth defensive shields have fallen!" Maya gasped. "Major!"

"Attempting to shutdown the main database!" yelled Hyuga, sweat streaming down his face. "No good! They're advancing too quickly!"

"They've penetrated the outer shell! The backup system is inoperative. All countermeasures uncooperative!"

Shouts rang out everywhere. "Too fast!" "We can't stop them!" "The satellites won't respond!" "The sixth shield is contaminated!" "Call Commander Ikari!"

"This is bad," Misato said quietly. "The seizure of the MAGI means a direct invasion of headquarters…" She turned to face the bespectacled Commander of NERV, who sat, as unexpressive as ever, at his mammoth observation platform, chin resting upon folded hands. "Commander!" she called out.

Gendo twitched, so slight that it was almost unnoticeable. "Get her," he said simply.

**NERV MILITARY DEFENSE COMPOUND, SUB-LEVEL F**

The electronic hiss of a door echoed through the long, cold room in which the woman sat in silence. Even in the dimness, the golden-haired scientist was admirably statuesque, possessing a stunning fusion of academic poise and classical beauty. The white glow of the hallway beyond was swallowed up by the palpable darkness of the prison cell. In the doorway, the silhouette of a man stood, one hand upon the holster of a sidearm, the other occupied by a NERV briefcase.

"I know," the woman said softly, her stoic tone betraying a hint of sadness. "The independent defense of the MAGI, right?"

"Yes," replied the man. "Lt. Ibuki will explain the details at the second command center."

The woman gave a dry chuckle. "Such an egoist, that man… using a woman he deserted."

"Please come with me, Dr. Akagi," the escort said flatly.

**TERMINAL DOGMA**

The scampering of NERV staff, computer programmers, data analysts and coffee makers alike, sounded like hundreds of rodents running through a research laboratory. The entire atrium was engulfed in the vermillion light of the warning symbols that glowed fiercely upon every terminal, large and small, that was even remotely connected to the MAGI. Misato, who had let her hair down as if to highlight her determination, stood before Gendo's desk wearing an intense expression.

"Sir, I demand to know what's going on."

"A-801 was issued from Tokyo 2 not long ago," Ikari grunted.

"801?" Misato whispered secretively.

"Repeal of the privileged protection of taskforce NERV and the transfer of command to the Japanese Government." Gendo gave a wry chuckle. "It seems we have outlived our usefulness to the committee."

Misato blanched. "Do you think SELEE will use military force?"

"Likely, they are trying to use our systems to open our doors to their infantry divisions. To conquer us from within."

"Will they succeed?"

Ikari cracked his knuckles. "Every true fortress has a portcullis."

Misato wondered just what the commander of NERV had in mind. "How can we stop the intrusion?"

"Do not concern yourself with it," Gendo said. "Dr. Akagi will keep the hounds at bay."

Misato's eyes widened in disbelief. "Ritsuko?"

**INSIDE THE PROGRAMMER'S ACCESS SHAFT, MAGI CASPAR**

The inside of the supercomputer Caspar was like the bowels of a gargantuan beast. Dark, dimly lit, and labyrinthine, Dr. Akagi often found it odd that the claustrophobic crawl space littered with myriads of system notations and circuit diagrams made her feel somewhat safe and calm. She could almost call the massive tangle of wires and metal plating home. Yet there was always something nagging about it, like a pinprick in the back of her mind, something vaguely formidable and omnipresent. The lingering ghost of her mother, perhaps.

"Am I doing something foolish?" Ritsuko muttered to herself as she rapped away at the portable computer that she used to directly interface with the MAGI. "Logic has no place in the relationship between a man and a woman, it seems." She stopped typing. "Don't you think so, mother?"

Ritsuko ran her hand gently along the cold, steel brain casing of the supercomputer. It seemed to throb quietly in forlorn accession.

**TERMINAL DOGMA  
**

Systematic updates were blaring barbarically over loudspeaker now. The faces of the NERV employees were rigid; they all knew that the fate of their organization hung in the delicate balance, a web of spider's silk blowing in a tempest.

_Recovery of ground communication in Goura has been increased by .2 percent_… the intercom was saying.

The coffee was ice cold, but she couldn't care less. Misato watched Hyuga intently as he worked vigorously to analyze the data. "How much longer?" she asked.

Makoto regarded the Major. "She seems to be finishing up just now, Misato. It's just like Dr. Akagi, isn't it?"

_Only an invasion of the MAGI_? Misato thought. _Doubtful we'll get off that easy. Knowing SELEE, this is only a prologue to something a lot worse._ A flashback of the explosion of the Second Impact that had claimed her father's life caused her to wince. _They won't stop until everything's destroyed_, she asserted. _They'll try to take the Geofront, the EVAs… everything._

Upon the central monitor was a display that indicated the seizure of the MAGI had been completed but for a tiny fraction of Caspar.

_CODE : 672_

_FILE : MAGISYS_

_EXTENSION : 4096_

_EXMODE : ERR_

_PRIORITY +++_

"My God! She's done it!" whispered an astonished. Makoto Hyuga.

Almost instantaneously, the monotonous drone of the computers was supplanted by a euphonious whine as the red color inside the MAGI supercomputers fractured and became blue once more. The new screen read:

_CODE : 666_

_FILE : BDANANG_

_EXTENSION : 4096_

_EXMODE : DRIVE_

_PRIORITY +++_

"The hacking of the MAGI has stopped!" Maya reported with candid relief. "B-Danang type M defense systems are in effect. Further system corruption will be impossible for the next 72 hours."

**SELEE INTERROGATION ROOM**

The elder councilmen, each represented by the mysterious rectangular panels, assembled immediately.

"Ikari has employed the 666 protection; it is almost impossible to break through," reported SELEE 09. "We must assume that the informant has failed."

"Very well," surmised SELEE 07. "We will terminate our collaborative apprehension of the MAGI effective immediately."

"Ikari is a fool," SELEE 01 chided. "This could have ended peacefully. Now we have no choice but to occupy the headquarters by force."

"The stage has been set upon which the final act shall play out," agreed SELEE 06. "Order the strike."

**CONTAINMENT CHAMBER OF EVA UNIT 01**

Shinji Ikari stared in silence at the purple goliath before him. He wondered if the EVA was self-aware. It was a horrible thought. Shinji could not imagine the idea of existing day after day in the claustrophobic cage of NERV, sent out into combat at the whim of cruel masters. Ironically, he began to realize, the conditions of his own life were not unlike the EVA's. Although it had been kind of Misato to take Shinji into her home, the Third Child had felt ill-at-ease from the beginning, like it was just another one of his father's autocratic measures to keep him under lock and key and in control, another one of his puppets. It wasn't that Shinji really wanted to think for himself or inherit a great magnitude of responsibilities, but rather he simply wanted to be left alone, to sever all ties from those who tried to involve him in their lives. Couldn't they see that demanding so much of him, his mind, body and heart, was like putting him in a cage?

He recalled briefly what Misato had scolded him about earlier that day. _Just like you, Shinji, your father was running away from the pain of a world he believed would only hurt him. The invisible and formless thing that exists between people… he was afraid of it, so he closed his mind._ A flash of Gendo's indomitable face surged unbidden into his thoughts. Shinji's hands instinctively clenched into fists and he shook his head back and forth violently. Somewhere, warning sirens vaguely wailed monotonously.

"I hate you," Shinji whispered.

Unit 01 stared back at Shinji in silence. The Third Child felt his blood boil. "Say something!" he shouted.

"You lilims are truly a spectacular race," said a familiar voice.

Shinji's mouth fell open and he whirled around to find Kaoru sitting cross-legged upon the edge of the containment cell, staring contently at Unit 01.

"Kaoru?" Shinji croaked.

"You see, Shinji," the 17th Angel began, "the EVAs are more than metal and circuit boards. You're right--they're not machines. But they're not entirely human either."

"Not human?"

"That's right," Kaoru continued. "The EVAs are extensions of the unique personalities of those who pilot them. That's why your synchronization tests are so important. It's what makes them so special. Without a human soul to give it guidance, the EVA is hopelessly bereft of dreams." Kaoru turned to face Shinji, his mouth stretching into a heart-warming smile. "I am eternally envious of you lilims," he beamed, "for you are capable of such beautiful dreams and such terrible nightmares. That, I think, it was makes humans deserving of their existence. Shinji Ikari, if you do not embrace your dreams and the dreams of others, you will become like the EVA. Do you understand?"

Shinji's eyes flooded with unreleased tears as he slowly opened his arms into an embrace. "Kaoru… I…didn't want to kill you… I didn't! They made me! They--"

The blue-haired angel drew close to Shinji and pressed his finger to the boy's lips. "I sacrificed myself because I saw how beautiful your dreams could be. Don't let your life become consumed by the nightmare of loneliness. Your father is an example of that. Promise me, Shinji. Promise me you will not let that happen."

Shinji wept. "I promise!"

Kaoru grinned, wiping away Shinji's tears. "Good. Now get ready, for there are many people who love you, people whose dreams depend upon you. How it all ends will be up to you, Shinji Ikari. Now go!"

"Who are you talking to?" said the emotionless voice of Rei Ayanami, the First Child.

Shinji blinked as he groped nothing but air where Kaoru had just been. He focused on the blue-haired girl. She was wrapped in bandages. Bloody bandages.

"Rei…" Shinji whispered. "Is it going to end today?"

The girl nodded mutely. Shinji made a tight fist. "Then I'll be ready when it does," he said.


	4. Upon the Edge of the World

-1**Author's Note**

Firstly, I'd just like to thank my readership for sticking with me so far. As I put an enormous amount of effort, research, and revision into each installment of my fan fiction, I hope that I have done my best in shouldering the creative mantle of Hideaki Anno during this project. I apologize profusely for the long wait between the last installment and this one, which is largely due to tie-ups in my personal life. Rest assured, I always finish what I start. The next section took me a considerable amount of time to write because there were the most deviations from the original End of Evangelion present so far, yet I wanted to maintain as much of the original content as was possible for the purposes of my narrative. From here on in, my story will most likely change significantly from EoE, and will deal heavily with the topics of psychology, Judeo-Christian theology, and existentialism.

**PART III - Upon the Edge of the World, What Dreams May Come**

_I have learned over the passing of many years that the essentials to happiness are threefold: something to do, something to love, and something to hope for._

_From the journal of Professor Kozuo Fuyutsuki_

There was so much darkness. Everywhere. A living darkness. Its fingers pursued her wherever she ran. Only one path was lit, a narrow corridor that seemed hauntingly familiar. She ran towards the red glow at the end of that corridor. All around her, the darkness intensified as if to swallow her whole. She ran, forced her feeble body onward until every muscle in her body ached. Tears gushed forth from eyes glazed with fear. She pushed the doorway open with all of her might.

Asuka's dead mother swung gently from the ceiling by a frayed, black cord. The Second Child let out a blood curdling scream.

The German girl was being interrogated by SELEE. She sat before them naked, shivering upon a shiny black chair in the interrogation amphitheater. Her skin felt raw, chafed as if she'd been beaten, clawed at, burnt by a tempestuous wind.

"You are a disgusting waste of human life," judged SELEE 01. "You have been deemed unworthy of joining humanity in its next phase of evolution. You are a disgusting stain upon the derma of mankind. _You _must be purged that _we_, the preordained chosen, may ascend."

There was an uncomfortable silence during which the SELEE panel's uncanny omnipotence seemed to penetrate the Second Child's very thoughts. Asuka blanched as she became aware of a cool moistness between her legs, and she lowered her hand and suspiciously touched the area betwixt her trembling thighs. Something warm and sticky oozed onto her fingers. Timidly, she brought her digits up to her face for a closer look. Her lips began to quiver as the bloody residue of her virginity dripped from her hand.

"Nooooooooo!" she shrieked.

Asuka became aware of a presence behind her. Legs quaking, she turned to find herself observing a scene set inside a small, austere hospital room. Asuka saw herself, or at least what appeared to be her comatose form, unconscious upon a steel gurney. Hunched over her was Shinji Ikari. His body was shaking, his right arm furiously spasmodic. A closer inspection of the episode brought a ghastly realization upon the Second Child.

"Shinji!" screamed Asuka mortified, dashing towards the boy. "Stop it! Stop it this instant you sick freak! No! Shinji! Nooooo!"

But it was too late. The Third Child gave a muffled groan and ejaculated all over Asuka's unconscious body. Asuka stood, mouth agape, her entire body shaking with mixed horror, rage and helplessness. And in that instant, she unaccountably realized she was pregnant. Her belly was full and fertile, round with the child of an unknown father. She lurched suddenly as if the ground beneath her had caved in, her knees buckled, and she nearly fainted as her body went into contractions. Panting and grunting, she steadied herself against the cold wall of the hospital room, her legs spread apart as if she was accustomed to the motions of child birth. The Second Child braced herself. Hot tears streaming down her reddened cheeks, she tightened and tensed every muscle in her body, instigating with both mind and body the expulsion of the life form that had invaded her womb.

The wail of a newborn babe filled the chamber. Asuka sobbed miserably, reluctantly cradling the infant as any mother would. After some time, the crying ceased, and the Second Child willed herself to look down upon the child she'd given birth to. Beautiful brown eyes stared up into her own. It's eyes were remarkable, full of love, hope, and dreams, just like _his _eyes. Just like…

**NERV MEDICAL WARD, DECK 3, EAST WING**

_Shinji_…

Asuka's eyelids fluttered. She awoke, and sat up upon the cold bed. She irritably tore the itchy medical tape from her body, wrestling with the multitude of tubes that clung to her body. As fleeting remnants of her nightmare fired across the neuron bridges of her cortex, Asuka quickly inspected her groin. Although there was no trace of blood, the red-haired girl was appalled to find her thighs damp with a liquid of another kind.

"I feel disgusting," Asuka muttered, climbing off the slab.

**OUTSIDE THE GEOFRONT, TOKYO 3**

Birds chirped. The sky was blue. The grasses swayed gently in a midsummer's breeze. To an outsider, the city that had been built upon the ruins of old Tokyo might have appeared to be a paradise. The brilliant panorama was tranquil yet ghostly, as the last of the civilian evacuees had long since disappeared from the area, sent to various military bases throughout Japan and, in the most extreme cases, various locations in South Korea and mainland China. Yet all was not well in Tokyo 3. In the underbrush, shadows flitted about, the silhouettes of the Japanese Army preparing to launch the invasion that would bring about the end of the world.

Radio banter was kept at a minimum. Soldiers loaded their artillery shells as the order was given.

"Carry out the mission as planned," was the order.

Almost instantaneously, the silence in the verdant valley surrounding the Geofront was pierced as the battalions whirred to life. A score of attack choppers tore across the skies, their fuel leaving behind yellow-brown trails in the troposphere. Tank divisions rumbled down the terraced avenues adjacent to the giant pyramid of NERV's headquarters. Shells launched from both tank and portable SAM site alike razed NERV's local radar outposts to the ground in barely a minute's time, and the staff inside the Geofront found itself quickly becoming blind.

**TERMINAL DOGMA, 30 MINUTES BEFORE THE THIRD IMPACT**

Once more, the warning sirens were blaring within Central Dogma. The cooling units within the MAGI fired off as once more the cybernetic brain of supercomputers hummed to life, collecting, sorting, and providing data to NERV personnel regarding the assault. The intercoms buzzed with activity.

"An elite taskforce battalion is advancing from the Goura defensive line!"

"Two more battalions from Gotenba!"

"We've lost all visual and radar communications sir!"

More panicked shouts.

"Three aircraft squadrons are inbound from Mishima!"

Gendo sat complacently at his desk, pondering his situation in detached chagrin. Misato, sitting upon the edge of his barren work area, grinded her teeth.

"So our final combatants will be humans after all," she snarled.

"All personnel to first class battle stations," Gendo ordered coldly.

"B…battle stations?" murmured a bedazzled Lt. Ibuki, swiveling upon her chair.

"We make a stand here," insisted Ikari. "A few men with guns cannot stand in the way of destiny."

Maya turned, crestfallen. "Even though they aren't angels, but humans?"

Makoto Hyuga sighed. "If only all of humanity could be as compassionate as you, Maya. Sadly, the other side doesn't share your sympathetic perspective."

Government troops advanced. NERV's perimeter guard buckled and folded under the pressure of the assault. The facility's inner compound alerts sounded. Panicked officers scrambled to review old directives and field manuals in a hasty attempt to reconnoiter the proper rules of engagement when dealing with human assailants.

"The 7th tunnel was destroyed!" came one report straight to Central Dogma.

"Fires have erupted throughout west cargo bay 5!"

"The invasion task force has penetrated to the first level!"

Misato slammed her hands down upon the computer terminals before the gargantuan holographic display panels. "The units in the west are decoys! If their targets are the EVA units, they'll try for the pilots first!" She whirled around and addressed Hyuga. "Scramble Shinji for launch in Unit 01 immediately! Move Asuka to standby in Unit 02. If the defense line falls, hide Unit 02 at the bottom of the lake. She'll be a sitting duck if she stays where she is."

"I will," Makoto stammered. "But Asuka…"

"What?"

"Asuka!" said Maya. "She hasn't regained her synchro rate with Unit 02 yet!"

"She'll be killed if she stays where she is," Misato argued. "Where's Rei?"

Shigeru Aoba turned from his terminal. "Missing in action!" he cried. "I can't locate her anywhere!"

"She'll be killed," Misato said. "Find her quickly." The purple-haired officer gazed over to Gendo's throne. The man had vanished. "Makoto," Misato said abruptly.

"Ma'am?" Hyuga replied.

She looked at the bespectacled programmer.

"Mi…Misato…" whispered Makota as an unspoken dialogue occurred between the two.

"I know," said the other. She hugged him. Makoto blushed deeply. "Please take care of the rest," she said. "There's something I must do."

"Right!" he replied dutifully.

**NERV EVA UNIT LAUNCHING BAY, PILOT LOCKERS**

The fluorescent light flickered as somewhere else in the Geofront, the armed forces continued their invasion, slaughtering and spilling the blood of both armed and unarmed NERV staff wherever they encountered them. Casualties were growing more and more catastrophic by the minute, and soon, Shinji knew, they would reach the EVAs. He didn't have much time.

The Third Child looked at the white plug suit he'd grown accustomed to wearing during his employment at NERV. He'd never really stopped to think about the intricacies of the suit, how it worked, or why each of the pilots suits had been fashioned in distinct colors. Beyond obviously visual recognition, Shinji could only guess that perhaps the colors of each suit were an extension of the pilot's own personality. Asuka's fiery personality was denoted by hot red while Rei's emotionless and taciturn gait was respectably white. His own, a deep shade of blue, reflected a deep sadness and loneliness as deep and as dark as an ocean, and yet at the same time the contemporary calmness and level-headedness that his father had seemingly mastered.

He remembered what Misato had said to him earlier along the road to the Geofront once more:

_And it disgusts me to see how much like your father you sound…_

Shinji shuddered. He had never understood his father. He hadn't a clue what motivated the man. Admittedly, he'd wondered what Gendo had been like while his mother had still been alive. He'd heard Professor Fuyutsuki speak of his father on occasion as being a bright and thoughtful man, one destined for achievements as grand as his heart. That was not the Gendo he knew. Could a man change so much in his life? Could a soul so deep-routed and shaped by the events of his past be redeemed?

"Shinji," came a voice.

The Third Child, surprised by the breaking of the silence in the locker room, eddied around to find Misato leaning against the wall some distance behind him. Shinji reddened as he scrambled to pull the rest of his plug suit over his body. Misato Katsuragi seemed unmindful of the boy's nudity.

"It's all happening now, you know," she said softly.

Shinji's look of embarrassment dissolved into firmness. "I know," he said. "Misato, I'm not scared anymore. At least, I'm not afraid to die."

Misato stared hard at Shinji. "Don't talk like that," she said. "You piloted the EVA. That's not something most people can do. You've made it this far…"

The sentiment was lost in the moment. Each was absorbed in their own manifestation of the outcome of humanity's future. Shinji cast his eyes to the floor. "I don't know if I can do it, Misato," he muttered absently. "After Toji… and Kaoru… I'm not fit to pilot one of these things at all." He looked at her directly. "Do you hate me? Am I disgusting?"

Misato sat upon the bench behind Shinji. "There are things you need to know before you go out there," she began. "Those forces we're dealing with were sent here by SELEE. They're going to cause the Third Impact by using the EVA series instead of the Angels. That's why killing you and capturing the EVAs is their main priority. Fifteen years ago, the Second Impact was instigated deliberately by humans. Their goal was to reduce Adam to an embryonic state to prevent greater catastrophe wrought by the angels. They were trying to survive as a species, the only way they knew how. But science is selfish and cruel, and we're not Gods. _We_, humanity, are the 18th angel, created by a life form known as Lilith. The remaining angels were other possibilities that look different from us. We were destined to hate each other even though we are both ultimately 'human'. Shinji-kun…" She rose from the seat and wrapped her arms around his chest, nestling her chin in the cradle of his shoulder. The boy flushed an uncharted shade of crimson. "You'll be alone from this point on, Shinji," the purple-haired beauty continued, undaunted. "I can't be certain what will happen to us here at NERV, but it's my duty to stay. Your duty is to continue on and destroy the EVA series. It's our only hope for survival. From here on in, it's all up to you. Whether you allow your father's madness to be brought to fruition will be your choice, and yours alone."

Shinji shook his head. "I can't pilot EVA if I have to hurt or kill people. I'll be ready for another angel… but humans? I have no right to do something so horrible. I thought I had the right to pilot EVA at first. But then I realized I was making excuses. I was trying to impress everyone, to understand my father. Yet…all I do is hurt people, so I have no right to pilot the EVA either. There's nothing I can do for anyone. I killed Kaoru… and I did something terrible to Asuka… Everything I touch ends in disaster! I'm cowardly and weak, and I always make excuses for everything! How can I make decisions and pilot EVA if all I do is hurt people?"

Misato squeezed Shinji tighter against herself. Shinji could feel the woman's hot breath upon his neck. A vaguely sexual feeling arose in Shinji, and he wanted to snuggle his body deeper into hers. He suppressed the desire.

"I won't sympathize with you, Shinji-kun," she whispered. "Life is all about risks. Isn't it better to die trying than to live having done nothing? I'm so proud of you, Shinji, and everything you've done. You've piloted the EVA. You've destroyed angels. And you've protected and risked yourself for those you love each and every time you did those things…" Tears began to stream down Shinji's cheeks. "Cry if you need to," Misato Katsuragi continued, "but don't hate yourself. You'll only hurt others that way. You keep hurting yourself because you know it's more painful to hurt other people and it tears me up inside. The way you feel is a result of your own judgment. Shinji-kun… can't you see the meaning in everything? Don't keep hurting yourself because of the misdoings you've committed in the past! Think about what you can do to atone for your sins!"

Shinji wrenched himself away from her and fell against the locker, the flat of his back denting the cold, slate-grey metal of the column. "But you're not me!" Shinji cried, shaking his head. "You don't understand it at all!"

The woman pinned the boy against the locker, squaring herself in front of him. She pressed hard upon his shoulders with her hands. "What's wrong with you?" Misato retorted angrily. "Are you going to quit again when those who love you need you the most? If you don't do anything…" she choked, stifling a sob. "If you don't do anything… I… I won't forgive you… I'll never forgive you! I'm not perfect either… I realize what I've done is wrong, but I've been trying to make up for it. For me, it's been a continuous cycle of premature delight and perpetual self-disgust. And yet each time, I felt as though I'd stepped forward!" Misato took the boy's face in her hands. Her lip was quivering, her eyes moist with tears. "Listen, my Shinji," she said. "Pilot the EVA one last time. Destroy all the EVAs and break your cycle as an EVA pilot. Find out why you came here, and why you're still here. And be sure to give back the love that others give to you…" Misato bent her head forward as she removed her treasured cross necklace, placing it into Shinji's trembling hands. "And _love her_," Misato Katsuragi whispered, her eyes sparkling with the light of one thousand dreams. "Because she has given her heart to you, and that's something sacred."

"Misato…" was all the Third Child could say.

"Remember me," Misato smiled, then proceeded to embrace the boy, locking her lips around his own, and enacting something she'd dreamt about doing so many lonely nights before. During that kiss, Misato felt as if the stars in the heavens above were all somehow connected by something greater and more meaningful than mankind itself. And for a brief moment, delirious with the incredible warmth Misato had given him, Shinji felt, for a splinter in time, as if he was understood. "Now go," she said.

**TERMINAL DOGMA, 15 MINUTES BEFORE THE THIRD IMPACT**

"EVA 02 is ready to launch!" Makoto said.

Aoba nodded brusquely. "As soon as Unit 01 is ready, launch it." There was a faint explosion. The interior of Central Dogma shook slightly. "It won't be long now."

The intercoms crackled with military banter. The massacre of innocent NERV staff continued all the way down to level 3. Corridors were painted red with the blood of the fallen. No one was spared.

"The second group isn't responding!" someone shouted.

"Communications with the 77th computer room have been severed!"

Another explosion somewhere within the compound.

"The 52nd linear rail was destroyed!"

Diligently as ever, Makoto Hyuga thundered his fingers into the keys of his computer terminal. "They're so annoying," he grunted. "I would have preferred an onslaught of angels."

"We're not used to fighting human opponents," Maya said softly. "What'll we do?"

The staff inside Terminal Dogma began the unloading of small weapons caches throughout the main decks surrounding the MAGI.

"Invaders on level 3, block M!" cried a raven-haired telecommunications expert. "They're close! We can't stop them!"

"From block F also," reported another frightened subordinate. "The main bypass has been seized by the force!"

"Then…" Aoba whispered, "…they're here."

Makoto and Aoba exchanged glances. _If only Misato were here_, it seemed to say. But both men, trained rigorously for their highly-coveted positions, knew what had to be done.

"Makoto!" Aoba barked.

The programmer nodded. "Right! All noncombatants withdraw to level 3. Inject Bakelite into all routes and pipes up to section 803!"

The narrow passages and aqueducts that connected and powered all the important wings, branches, and facilities within the Geofront were flooded with the syrupy red substance known as Bakelite, a security countermeasure that prevented the rapid advancement of humans and angels alike throughout the central vertebrae of the building. It would buy them time, at least, until the EVAs were fully operational and ready for battle.

"Routes 47, 51, and 14 were destroyed and group 3 is pinned down!" Makoto said despairingly. "They're at our gates!"

Aoba agreed with a huff. "Very well," he said. "Then it's come down to this, hasn't it?'

He produced a small silver key, knelt down and began to fiddle with a stainless steel compartment beneath his computer station. Nearby, Makoto opened a small drawer just beneath his desk.

"It's not fair," he muttered irritably. "We've never been equipped with anti-personnel weapons."

Aoba Shigeru produced an H&K MP5 and inserted a magazine. "We're only equipped to handle terrorists at most," he agreed.

"If the tactical elite defense force has been mobilized, this place won't last for a second," the other cringed as he thought of the slaughter that awaited them.

Makoto didn't have long to imagine the possibility, however, as an enormous blast shook the entire atrium, and the blast doors erupted into a fiery ball of shrapnel and melted steel. Screams rang out throughout the room. Gunfire rattled from every station. The tactical defense force moved in, turtle-shelling their way with fiendish precision and protected by bullet-proof shields.

Aoba dove down beside a cowering Maya Ibuki and handed her a small pistol. "Release the safety," he instructed her. "Just point and shoot."

"I… I can't shoot guns," she replied, cradling the weapon in her hands dumbly.

"You've done it in training countless times!" Shigeru spat back.

"But those weren't humans!" Maya cried, staring hard at her comrade.

A bullet ricocheted off the countertop just above their heads. Aoba flinched. "Fool!" he roared. "It's us or it's them! If you don't shoot, you die! Is that the fate you want?"

For several minutes, the interchange of heavy firearms, pistols, and close quarters artillery added to the cacophony of screams and death cries from members of both the tactical advance division and NERV. The giant holographic display fizzled and flickered as the electricity powering it waned. The intercoms had gone dead by now, and the communications networks were all annihilated.

Aoba leaned over the banister and fired the last few rounds from his carbine, then began a hasty count of the munitions he had left available to him.

"They've blown up so many places," Makoto shouted to Aoba over the din. "But as expected they aren't doing that in here!"

"They probably want to finish it all in one decisive blow," surmised the long-haired data analysis expert. "However the original MAGI are right beneath us. Most likely, they want to seize them in tact." He forced a clip into a nondescript sidearm.

"We won't last long if they use biochemical weapons," Hyuga muttered, firing a few shots over the rail.

"It's possible they may use them," Aoba nodded. "And the N2 weapon as well."

Just then the entire Terminal Dogma oscillated and churned as if shaken by a massive earthquake. Emergency floodlights came on, and the room was bathed in a disquieting shade of blood red.

"Speak of the devil," Makoto scowled as he steadied himself. "They aren't holding back at all!"

Shigeru Aoba released the safety on his weapon. "All we can do now is pray," he said.

**LCL PRODUCTION FACILITY, NERV HQ**

Deep within the Geofront there was a room that few had seen. In that room, the vile stench of humanity's sins hung in the air like sewers overflowing with one thousand decaying rats. In that room, there was blood everywhere. LCL. The life force of Lilith, who was impaled upon the cross so that mankind might endure. It is natural for a species to wish to survive; in fact, it is instinct. The angels had threatened humanity, so the captivity of Lilith, their mother, was justified. But _blame_ is the crucifix upon which the righteousness of man has been staked; selfishness, hatred, and greed are the saboteurs of enlightenment. No man is willing to find fault within himself, to place upon his own head the crown of thorns and make the sacrifice necessary for the happiness of others, that is, the baring of his naked soul before the mirrors of humanity. It is no use to blame the looking glass if one's own face is askew.

Gendo Ikari and Rei stood facing each other. It was time.

"Adam is with me now," said Ikari flatly. "This is the only way to see Yui again. The forbidden unification between Adam and Lilith."

Then, the tendons and sinew binding Rei's superfluous extremity to her shoulder unraveled, and skin and bone peeled away as her left arm thumped noisily to the floor. Yet she was not in pain. The physical realm of the flesh had no bearing any longer.

"We're running short on time," Gendo continued. "Your AT field isn't able to contain your shape any longer. Let's begin, Rei. Pull down your AT field, the wall within your heart. Fill the missing piece of the heart by abandoning meaningless bodies and combine everyone's soul into one. And I'll go to the place where Yui is."

Rei shut her eyes. Dispassionately, Gendo extended his arm and placed his hand upon the icy skin of Rei's naked breast. He pushed upon her until the flesh of her flesh accepted and absorbed his fist, and Adam within it, into her own body. Slowly, almost tenderly, he moved his arm down through the girl's body, careful not to destroy any of her internal organs lest his agenda be forever ruined. Rei shivered as Gendo's hand neared her womb.

**TOKYO 3**

The cacophony of machines and sirens was deafening as NERV personnel from every branch scrambled to evacuate the subterranean headquarters that was known as the Geofront. Great swells crashed against the coastline and onto coastal roads, sweeping military vehicles and infantry into the frothing ocean. Plumes of smoke rose from trucks and overturned automobiles scattered throughout the ruins of Tokyo-3 where the noxious smell of oil and gasoline battled the ever-growing miasma of flooding sewers and carnage for dominance. In every direction was a visceral scene of despair and desolation marking humanity's darkest hour: _The Third Impact_.

The ominous green glow of a scorched sky cast eerie shadows upon Unit 01 whose pilot was barely holding onto his sanity. Thrust immediately back into combat after his confrontation with the seventeenth angel and newfound friend, Kaoru, the traumatized young boy's mind began to unravel. An ocean of anger dried up and became a desert of loneliness only mere moments later replaced by a jungle of paranoia. But the pilot of Unit 01, Shinji Ikari, was the one thing that stood between the fate of mankind and Armageddon for all life on earth. _The Third World War_, Professor Fuyutsuki had once said, _will be fought not by men, but by angels_. To the men, women, and children looking on in abject fear and horror, the individuality and uniqueness of each and every soul hanging in the balance, Shinji Ikari was no longer a soldier, but a savior. He was a symbol of humankind's will to overcome impossible odds. Yet in the eyes of the struggling child in the dim cockpit of Unit 01, he had been utterly used by everyone in his life whom he loved, and he saw little reason to go on.

"Unit 01 is in position," NERV's resident cryptographer Makoto Hyuga whispered quietly as if a single word uttered aloud would cause the entirety of Central Dogma to come crashing down around them. The elite taskforce was in the process of disarming and handcuffing all personnel within Terminal Dogma for direct interrogation and imprisonment. He looked nervously to the purple-haired director of operations, Major Katsuragi, who stood resolutely, arms folded across her buxom chest, staring at the computer monitors as a deluge of information flooded by, waiting for the soldiers to reach the upper bridge and detain them.

Misato nodded, eyes narrowing. "Then it's begun," she said. "The beginning of the end."

Shinji, in Unit 01, gazed upon the destruction he had wrought all around him. Bodies lay everywhere. Flames billowed up from burning tanks and crashed helicopters, all his doing. He had been responsible for this, this catastrophic battle, and he knew there was still much more to come. He remained crouched, pinned against a mountainous overhang, his hands shaking violently around the movement control rudders of the EVA.

"Help me," he repeated, over and over. "Help me. Help me. _Help me. Help me save Asuka…She deserves to live… and I… I deserve to die… Please… please help me…_"

**LCL PRODUCTION FACILITY, NERV HQ**

Rei's eyes snapped open. In the back of her consciousness, she had heard it. She was certain of it.

_Help me_.

It was the desperate plea of a soul that had unraveled, a spirit who had truly become liberated from the shackles of selfishness. It was a cry for help that asked for the strength to save the life of another. It was the revealing of the beautiful side of humanity, that which had made it the chosen race of Lilith.

"Ikari…" Rei whispered.

**TOKYO 3**

The impossible happened. Far above them, an enormous object penetrated the earth's atmosphere and plummeted toward the Geofront. Soldiers procured long-range binoculars in a panic, quickly assessing if the unknown entity was a threat to the operation.

"An object is falling fast from the outer atmosphere!" reported one of the radar site operators.

"What could it be?" a senior officer wondered.

The Lance of Longinus screamed down from the heavens. Shinji's eyes bulged as the familiar weapon of the apocalypse rocketed towards him, coming to an abrupt halt just meters from the head casing of his EVA. Shinji Ikari let out a bloodcurdling scream. It was the beginning of the end. Events had been set in motion decades before he was born, and thousands of people, all connected by the slightest of events, had instigated scenarios that had coalesced into this final moment where, just as Misato had sagely predicted, he would have to make a choice. But was he ready to make that choice? Could he make that choice alone? Life, Shinji realized--either consciously or unconsciously--was the sum of all the choices you made, and that to live itself was a choice, yet that to choose wisely, you first must know who you are, where you wanted to go, and why you wanted to get there. Shinji knew that personally he didn't care whether he lived or died; he had continuously chosen to live for another. This was the battle for the world, and the war to keep an unspoken promise. Love between two souls, however unrequited it might be, was still love. Whether he chose to live or die, he could not choose reason over love, for he was not machine like the EVA, he was only human. And there, upon the edge of the world, what dreams may come, in love and war, he knew helplessly that he was here because of another. He was here because of Asuka.


	5. Nihilim Return

-1**PART IV - Nephilim Return**

_The greatest of tales are those which resonate our beginnings and intuit our endings, the mysteries of our genesis and our numinous destinies, and dissolve both into one._

_From the journal of Professor Kozuo Fuyutsuki_

There was life without EVA. Sometimes, in his waking life, in that spiritual dimension between sleep and awareness, Shinji Ikari could imagine it. There was a life in which giant, manmade behemoths did not lay waste to the city of Tokyo 3. A life where the bond between father and son was one of love, truth, and understanding. In that alternate reality, there was within him the courage to stand up for what he believed in, to find the words to say what he deeply wanted to say. Yet in the reality Shinji Ikari had created, he played the coward, the one who could not reciprocate the companionship others sought in him. All the while he had insisted that his solitaire was what his heart truly desired, and yet, there was an ever-present nagging within him. Whenever times tried the souls of men the most, Shinji would erupt into a frenzy as if possessed by a demon, given to feats of extraordinary vigor. When Asuka had faced certain doom within the lonely chassis of the magma diver, something had exploded within his heart. He had known at that quintessential moment that Asuka _must_ remain alive. Somehow, though he knew not why, this was truth. The fiery German girl, more tragically orphaned by life than he, deserved life. Shinji, like Gendo and his undeniable dependency upon Rei, needed Asuka to survive. And just maybe, she needed him too. The Third Child opened his eyes.

The red sea of LCL was nigh-limitless. It stretched on for miles, glittering, sparkling beneath the moonlight. The neon lights of Tokyo 3 flickered across the bay.

"I wanted to show you this," said a voice.

Shinji turned. "K…Kaoru…"

The violet-haired angel smiled. "It's beautiful isn't it? It was long ago thought by the Grigori that mankind could never create anything beautiful by themselves." He turned to Shinji. "How arrogant my fathers were, isn't that right, Shinji Ikari?"

The two stood side by side. Kaoru took Shinji's hand in his own.

"You're no longer afraid of being touched?" asked the seventeenth angel, surprised.

"I… I might not touch another person ever again," the boy replied. "I… I know that I've been lucky in the past… But piloting EVA only brings death or disaster. Rei… Touji… Asuka… my mother…"

"You still haven't learned," laughed Nagisa, amusedly. "The physical body is but a vessel. Much like the EVA. Once a soul is born, that soul never dies. Two souls bound by the human heart may never be separated. That is how I am able to exist in your reality even after you destroyed my physical form. The mere fact that you _want_ me to exist, that you have made that choice, allows me to exist forever, in your memories, in your dreams, and in your heart. Do you understand, Shinji Ikari?"

The Third Child shook his head. "Then this is a dream."

"Is a dream different from reality? Which is more real, the dream, or the reality? In the reality you create, you accept what you see because you are told that you cannot exist without doing so. You rely upon your senses to experience life. But in your dreams, you are free-falling through the realm of the heart, where there are no boundaries and only you make the choices. In both realms, you are the master of your world, so in that regard, they are the same."

"When I dream, sometimes I am not myself," Shinji admitted. He harkened back to those fleeting moments when he was more steadfast, resolute and daring. "I don't understand it really… it's like… it's like there's more than one Shinji inside of me."

"Everyone has another self within them," replied the seventeenth angel. "For every individual, there are two selves. He who is seen by others, and he who sees others. As such, there are an infinite number of Shinji Ikaris. The Shinji Ikari in your mind. The one in my mind. The one in Misato Katsuragi's mind. The one in Rei Ayanami's mind. The one in Asuka Soryu's mind. And the one in your father, Gendo Ikari's mind. Each of them is different, but ultimately, they are all Shinji Ikari. You are greatly concerned with the Shinji Ikari in others' minds, which is why you retreat to dreams. It is natural to self-project the ideal self in dreams. Where we fail in reality, we can succeed in our dreams."

"I… I just want people to like me," said Shinji. "But… I'm a horrible person."

Kaoru ran his hand through his hair. His lavender locks glimmered in the moonlight. "You inflict pain upon yourself so that you don't inflict pain upon others," he echoed the sermon of Misato.

"But everyone _does _hate me," the Third Child protested. "I can't deny that. If I was liked, why would everyone abandon me? Why did my father abandon me?"

"You cast blame so easily," Kaoru chided. "Take your life into your own hands, Shinji Ikari, and what happens? A frightening thing: no one to blame." He squeezed Shinji Ikari's hand tightly. "If everyone hated you Shinji, then they would not have placed their lives in your hands."

Shinji gasped.

"Yes, Third Child," grinned Kaoru. "This isn't a dream. Nor is it a reality. The time has come for you to make a choice. There are choices that we live not once but thousands of times over, remembering them for the rest of our lives." He let go of Shinji's hand. "Your council of augers believed they needed Adam to evolve--" he laughed heartily. "But look! It's already happened! The door has been unlocked!"

"Kaoru…" whispered Shinji.

"Until we meet again, Shinji Ikari," Nagisa beamed, then vanished into the mist.

**LCL PRODUCTION FACILITY, NERV HQ**

Rei's eyes snapped open. In the back of her consciousness, she had heard it. She was certain of it.

_Help me_.

It was the desperate plea of a soul that had unraveled, a spirit who had truly become liberated from the shackles of selfishness. It was a cry for help that asked for the strength to save the life of another. It was the revealing of the beautiful side of humanity, that which had made it the chosen race of Lilith.

"It has begun," said Gendo coldly. "Now, Rei… guide me to the place where Yui is."

There was suddenly a tightening in Rei's abdominal cavity. The tissues and lipids of her body fused like hot glue to Gendo's fist.

"This can't be!" NERV's commander grunted.

Recalling the final words of Kozuo Fuyutsuki to her upon his death, she looked up into Ikari's eyes. "I'm not your puppet," she said.

A strong suction within Rei's body was followed by an equally powerful expulsion of Gendo's hand from her body. His arm, up to his elbow, had been completely absorbed into Ayanami's form.

"Why?…" stammered the other.

"I'm not you," Rei muttered. The exposed bone of her arm was suddenly engulfed in a series of rapidly re-synthesizing tendons and sinew. In only a matter of seconds, her missing limb was restored.

"Rei!" cried Gendo desperately, his skin chilled to ice as both his blue haired doll and plans for a blissful afterlife betrayed him. His knees shook helplessly.

The First Child turned, then levitated off the ground. She rose up through the air as a feeble and invalid Gendo Ikari looked on. "Please! Rei, wait!"

"No," Rei replied. "Ikari is calling."

She hovered before the mammoth captive of man, face to face with her mother. _Lilith_.

"Reiiiiiii!" Ikari yelped, his voice cracking with abandon.

Rei's face softened somewhat as she gazed directly upon the seven eyed creature.

"I'm home," she whispered. Then she was absorbed by the colorless flesh of her mother in sweet return.

**AT THE BOTTOM OF LAKE ORION, TOKYO 3**

Deep beneath the dark waters of the colossal manmade lake just beyond the Geofront, Unit 02 waited in silence. In the cold darkness, floating in and out of consciousness sustained by minimal life support systems, Asuka gazed into the abyss, the hell where men meet themselves and are judged, where the fabric of reality is torn asunder and the self is vulnerable to the scrutiny of doubt and disbelief.

"I… I don't want to die down here," Asuka whimpered. She curled up into a little ball. "It's… s-so cold… I… I don't want to die alone."

_You're never alone when you're in love_…

Asuka's eyes widened. "Who… who's there?"

_I am Asuka Langley Soryu_, the voice responded. _I am the Asuka perceived by the mind of Shinji Ikari_.

"Ikari-kun…" Asuka whispered. Then her eyes narrowed. "I hate him! He's the reason I'm dying in the bottom of this stupid lake!"

Asuka's reflection in the cockpit smiled back at her.

_You two are more alike than you even think,_ laughed the voice. _Both of you are willing to place the blame upon others so easily._

Asuka fumbled for an argument. "How could it not be the fault of someone as stupid as that?"

_I exist in your mind because you allow me to do so. Because you care about what Shinji Ikari thinks about you._

"That's not true!" Asuka retorted.

_You don't really believe your own lies_, mused Asuka's voice. _The merging has begun. All of the planes are becoming as one. Ikari's soul will dissolve into the primordial soup of singularity. Then you will never be able to see him again._

"Like I care!" spat the Second Child. She clawed at her hair. "Get out of my head! Leave me alone!"

_If you truly wanted that, I wouldn't exist. I am but one of your selves, the one you are most interested in. You don't even care about your own self as much as you care about the Asuka that others perceive. The Asuka that Shinji perceives. You're driven by the approval of others, motivated by accomplishments and the inflation of your ego and personal pride. But you do so to distract you from the loneliness and abandonment you feel inside of yourself, and you've erected an AT-field around your heart. Just like Shinji Ikari. You two are the same._

"We're not the same!" hissed the German girl. "He's just a stupid young boy that always gets in the way and he's so utterly useless and pathetic!"

_Then why do you blush whenever your classmates tease you both about being a couple?_

"I don't! What a stupid idea!"

_You teased him in your swimsuit, and again at the hot springs. And you instigated a kiss with him too._

"And what a mistake that was!"

The voice continued its steadfast interrogation of Asuka's heart. _He's the only one you tease so mercilessly and adamantly._

"Because… because he's Shinji Ikari!" Asuka groped for ammunition. "I mean… he sets himself up for harassment!"

_Then explain why, the one night when you were feeling utterly forsaken and alone, you lay beside Shinji in his bed._

At that, Asuka's cheeks burned bright red. She squirmed in her seat, her brow twitching irritably. "That's… that's because…"

_Because you love him_…

"I don't love anybody! I hate _everyone!_"

_You love Shinji Ikari_.

"No!"

_You love Shinji Ikari_.

Tears began to well up in Asuka's eyes. "Get… get out of my head…"

_Why are you so unable to tell him your feelings?_

"P…p-please…" the Second Child moaned desperately. "No more…"

_Why? Why is the Second Child, who is able to pilot EVA, destroy angels, and surmount any obstacle, unable to do something as simple as tell Shinji your feelings_.

Asuka broke down sobbing. Her tears fell freely as though she had saved them up for years. An emotional dam had been broken.

"I… I'm… not… good enough… f-for Shinji…"

_That's not true_, countered Asuka's consciousness. _Shinji looks up to you immensely. He gathers his own strength from yours. That was the point of Ritsuko's harmonization exercise. But you didn't understand that at the time. You shut off your heart. Now, Shinji needs all the strength he can get. He needs you more than you can ever know_.

"He… he hates me," Asuka cried.

_You kissed Shinji Ikari. Shinji, who is afraid of contact, to touch anyone, let you kiss him. Would someone who hated you allow such a thing?_

"He… he doesn't understand…"

_He understands. He's not completely aware of how he understands, or why he understands, but he knows that you are extremely important, and he will sacrifice himself to keep you alive._

Asuka stopped crying. "Stupid!" she shouted suddenly. "I'm not going to let him do something reckless and stupid for someone like me who can't even synch with EVA!"

_Go to him_, the voice urged.

"Let's go, EVA!" Asuka howled. Unit 02 whirred to life of its own accord, driven by an unseen force more powerful than any EVA umbilical cord could ever deliver.

**LCL PRODUCTION FACILITY, NERV HQ**

Gendo continued to watch dumbstruck as the structural damage to Lilith's legs was instantaneously repaired. The beating of a primordial heart, a deep, reverberating thumping, echoed throughout the chamber. It was exactly as the prophecies of the Dead Sea Scrolls had predicted; a celestial being that was old when the world was young, the shaper of humanity that had existed long ere the days before days and the dawn of men, had awakened. Lilith would decide the very fate of mankind.

The giant entity's hands rose through the gargantuan nails that bound it to the scarlet crucible. It fell into the pool of LCL below, causing a shower of its own lifeblood to descend upon Gendo who stood, trembling at the magnitude of the event which he had selfishly instigated. Freed from the purple mask that blinded it from its own sephirotic nature, it began to take shape. Ikari clutched at his arm as he witnessed the beginning of mankind's rebirth.

"Rei…"

**TERMINAL DOGMA**

Once again, the MAGI began to stream data throughout the holographic displays in terminal dogma. The elite task force began to mill around in bewilderment, trying to maintain order. Calls were made to senior officers and attempts to shutdown the MAGI were made, to no avail.

"What is it? What's going on?" one of the nearby obliteration squad captains barked.

"An unknown high energy source is approaching from within Terminal Dogma!" Aoba informed the soldier.

Hyuga leapt back into his seat despite a protest from the man who had trained his crosshairs upon him. "AT-field detected!" the programmer shouted. "Pattern is blue!"

"Could that be an angel?" Maya said, trying to wrench herself free from the vice grip of one of her captors.

"No, it's not," Aoba screamed. "It's… it's a woman… a… a human!"

With a ghastly, otherworldly moan, the Rei-Lilith being ascended through Terminal Dogma, an enormous titan the color of moonlight. One of her hands passed directly through Maya Ibuki and the soldier holder her fast, sending both of them falling to their knees, shaking and screaming in abject terror as though their very souls had been violated. The elite task force captain, who had been interrogating Misato, fell back against the rail, his skin loosing its color.

"Demon…" he whispered.

Misato stared at the colossus rising through the atrium. "Is… is this what will bring about the end of humanity?"

**SELEE INTERROGATION ROOM**

The council had convened for the final hour of man. There was a tense urgency in their tones as the omega order was issued.

"The appointed time has come," began SELEE 01.

"The original Longinus Lance has returned to us," SELEE 04 said proudly.

"We're short of the number, but it can't be helped." SELEE 09's panel glowed fiercely.

"We must fight fire with fire if we are to succeed," declared SELEE 01. "Deploy the S2 series and capture EVA Unit 01 and the Longinus Lance. That will be sufficient to achieve the revelation."

They all chanted, "Return humanity to its true form through the equal means of prayer and death."

"It leads to a tranquility of mind and a purity of soul," SELEE 01 concluded. "Let us begin the ceremony."

**TOKYO 3**

_Shinji-kun!_

Shinji's eyes snapped open. Misato was yelling over the radio.

"Shinji! Can you hear me?"

"Mi… Misato?" Half delirious, Shinji focused on the red spear hovering just before his face. "Longinus…"

"Shinji," Katsuragi was yelling quickly over the communications network. "Your father instigated the third impact! SELEE has dispatched a group of S2 EVA types. You must destroy the Longinus Lance before they can use it to complete the Instrumentality Project!"

"Destroy… Longinus… Lance…" Shinji repeated dreamily.

"Shinji!" Misato cried. "Stay conscious! You can do it! Please! Destroy the Lance! And whatever you do, _do not_ fixate upon whatever comes out of the Geofront. Pretend what you see isn't real!"

"Misato, what do you mean? What do you--"

Shinji Ikari stopped dead. From within the pyramid of NERV HQ, the hulking effigy of Rei rose forth, increasing to a more and more impossible size with each passing second.

The Third Child's entire body went numb, and his fingers shook violently. "R…R…Rei?!"

High in the outer atmosphere, a dozen Lockheed SR-71 Blackbirds cruised noiselessly upon the thermals. Upon each, a strange white shape detached itself from its undercarriage payload, and began to plummet down through the skies toward the Geofront. Great, milky white wings guided each safely to the earth where they surrounded Shinji in a semi-circle.

"Shinji!" Misato was yelling. "Shinji! The Lance! Destroy it now!"

But the words fell upon deaf ears. Shinji's mind was reeling with disbelief and sheer terror. Surrounded by Evangelions on three of his four flanks, Shinji lost control of his motor functions and suddenly felt the strong urge to urinate. In the background, the Rei-Lilith monstrosity continued to rise towards the heavens. The time to make a choice was running out. The Longinues Lance hovered just meters from his EVA unit. The vulture-like S2 EVAs retracted their wings, and raised their long, onyx-bladed prog-swords for battle.

_What dreams may come…_

EVA 00 forced it's way through the fourteenth angel, Zeruel's AT field. A catastrophic explosion ensued. Shinji stood, helplessly gaping, having just tendered his resignation as the chosen pilot of Evangelion Unit 01.

Kaji stood, watering his patch of melons, casually as ever.

"Shinji, all I can do is spray water," he said. "But you have something _you_ and only _you_ can do. No one will force you, so decide for yourself what you should do now so that you won't regret it."

_The choice is yours, and yours alone_.

Shinji stood, in the docking bay of Unit 01. His father, Gendo, stood beside him.

"It is choice, Shinji, not chance, that determines one's destiny," the senior Ikari said.

The radio crackled once more. It was Misato. "Shinji! They're shutting down our power systems! You'll be on battery power from--"

A popping sound marked the severing of the radio connection. The soft hissing of white noise followed. The S2 EVAs began to bay like hounds, sensing the moment of battle drawing near.

"I'm not like my father," Shinji said aloud. "I'm not going to run away any longer. I'm going to take a stand, even if it kills me…"

Shinji willed the powerful robotic arms of Unit 01 to grasp the Longinus Lance. He whipped it through the air and held it out before him defensively. The war for humanity began.


End file.
